Ninja vs. Grizzly Bear — this would be the coolest fight ever!

So for months I’ve been pondering the question, “who would win in a fight? Ninja vs. Bear?”

So here’s what I’ve concluded . . . .

I’m going to side with the bear. . . he has incredible strength, amazing speed, 8″ claws, he’s very tough (hunters have been known to fire 20 to 30 high caliber rounds into these creatures and still not take them down), weighs about 8 times more than an adult male, can cover 100 yards in 7 seconds or less, he can climb trees, has phenomenal endurance, and he also has a very unpleasant temperament and finds people tasty.


The ninja does have a sword and some nasty little devices to aid him along with his speed, stealth, and deadly skill . . . but fact of the matter is that these devices are made for people who are a similar size to him . . . not large, powerful feral beasts who are 8 times his size.


The ninja would probably last a good while against the bear, but one good strike from the bear would be enough to end this man.


It’s very likely that this would happen too, because the ninja would be forced to fight a bear up close.


Given the bear’s thick fur, hide, and layers of insulating fat, our ninja’s throwing implements would do little more than just anger the beast – and really wouldn’t harm him.


The ninja would probably be able to evade the bear’s attacks for a brief amount of time, but he would eventually tire where the bear would more than likely sustain its energy for a longer period.

It’s unlikely that the ninja could use his stealth as an asset against the bear because the bear has a sense of smell that is 1000’s of times greater that a human, added to this advantage, he also has better hearing and sight as well.


The bear would know the ninja presence and position well before he could get close enough to land the already difficult lethal blow.


Nevertheless, the fight would be awesome . . . probably the coolest thing ever!

Well, it definitly wouldn’t suck.



9 Responses to Ninja vs. Grizzly Bear — this would be the coolest fight ever!

  1. F**k Fiction says:

    What if the ninja was on a unicycle?

  2. motorphilia says:

    I think he’d be at an even greater disadvantage . . . but it would be funny to see a unicycle ninja nevertheless.

  3. Karak says:

    Real ninjas used real tools. The bear would run away from the simple throwing of an eggshell grenade.

    The dust in the grenade would blind him and the pepper would snuff out his sense of smell.

    Goodnight bear.

  4. Jimmy says:

    yeah right this is a bunch of bull crap! the ninja would totally win. ninjas have quantum tunnel powers and they can be invisible. bears are strong but what is that when you have way awesome stealth ninja powers? besides did you ever think that the ninja could take clippers to the bear hair and shave it bald? now who’s ninja star works?

    bears may be able to move 100 yards in 7 seconds but i think that is just some random stat that you made up. ninjas move 100 yards as fast as they want no time can be put on it.

    one time one of my fellow ninjas got so made at his cereal getting soggy that he totally killed three people with is bare hands. and then started screaming at his pet snake, big deal.

  5. toddster says:

    Unlike black bears, grizzlies are not graceful tree climbers. They can do it in a pinch,
    but they don’t do it often. The Ninja would be able to hop around between trees
    nimbly without much effort. Therefore, in a forest with high tree density, the ninja
    could evade the bear but he’d need a weapon that could be fired from above to
    vanquish the bear. (How about a rattlesnake glued to one of those telescoping
    lightbulb changers, repainted in ninja black?)

  6. rob says:

    The ninja would totally win. You are forgetting that the ninja’s greatest strength is his craftiness. The ninja would pick the terrain for the fight so that he had an advantage. He’d choose somewhere he could drop a boulder on the bear or climb a tree then jump out and slice the bear’s head off. Keep in mind that ninjas are crafty. The ninja might distract the bear with some honey or a picnic basket, then surprise attack and cut its head off.

  7. Billy Elgert says:

    The ninja can’t just pick the terrain. the bear has to be there or the ninja would have to transport the bear in a cage… that doesn’t make sense.

    I think the ninja could easily defeat the bear with no weapons. We are talking about a ninja, not some idiot bear keeper. In my dojo you have to defeat a bear just to become an ninja apprentice. Usually the would be apprentice just crushes the bears skull with a single ninja chop.

  8. Alex Oleary says:

    The ninja would win!

  9. Alex Oleary says:

    yes Alex Oleary is pro ninjas!

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