Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever give up!

April 26, 2010
Love doesn’t work out too well when we’re armor plated.

In a reply to one of my blog posts on C.S. Lewis (https://motorphilia.wordpress.com/2008/02/03/to-avoid-love-is-to-find-hell-cslewis-explains/#comments), I saw this today:

“As someone who has had their heart broken 8 times trying to find love, the most recent just today, I have to say that C.S. Lewis was wrong.

He seems to forget that losing love, that pain… IS HELL!! So, basically I am damned either way. At least I won’t have to go through the rejection any more.

Let my heart shrivel and die, let me not feel a thing. I would rather be numb than in pain, better callous than cursed.”

So here are my thoughts . . .

The hardest thing to do is love like you have never been hurt before.

If you keep finding that you get hurt over and over again, stop searching and take time to heal.

If you keep swinging from one person to the next you aren’t looking for love, but more of a fix to feel something.

You’re not “cursed” but if this pattern repeats itself, you should look into yourself and see how you might be affecting the outcome.

I know of a great girl who is a good example of self-sabotaging her relationships because she’s always in fear of the person she is in love with leaving her. She doesn’t see this, but her fear has pushed away some great guys . . . and I know from past experience, that I am not much better at this and I’ve committed to learn my way out of this.

It takes a lot of faith to love someone . . . more than you think you could ever have. By loving someone deeply though all that comes, we learn how to love others better and how to become better people.

What I have learned so far is “Hang in there.”

It’s more than a cliche or some thoughtless advice that a person tosses your way instead of listening . . . it’s actually a way of life.

I’ve also learned that self pity will take me no where.

My best advice to everyone is: If you love anything or anyone, don’t ever ever ever ever ever give up. . . all things that are of great value don’t come easy and they are hard to find.

This is what makes them special.

I’ve felt the feelings this person is expressing and it’s hard to believe now, but I’ve found that they are a myth . . . a hoax . . . and not real.

They come from you asking, “what does this person give to me?”, but not from “what can I do to help this person?”

The only thing we can do, is choose to love better . . . if you need help, I’ve found that Corinthians 13 does a good job of giving the template of true love.

A wise man once said to me, “Loneliness is the illusion we are tricked into feeling when we stop thinking of others and only of ourselves . . . it’s a disease and we can fight it the moment we chose to put others before us.”

If you don’t believe me . . . try it . . . don’t talk about it . . . help others and find connection and never ever give up.

You’ll find that if you keep working on “you” instead of hunting down new people, you’re going to find someone wonderful who love’s “you” just as much as you do.

Last thought . . . how can you love others as you love yourself if you don’t even love yourself yet?

Get it? 🙂


To avoid Love is to find Hell — C.S.Lewis explains

February 3, 2008

 This is one of my favorite passages from C.S.Lewis from his book The Four Loves:

There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one,     not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket — safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.I believe that the most lawless and inordinate loves are less contrary to God’s will than a self-invited and self-protective lovelessness…We shall draw nearer to God, not by trying to avoid the sufferings inherent in all loves, but by accepting them and offering them to Him; throwing away all defensive armour. If our hearts need to be broken, and if He chooses this as a way in which they should break, so be it.What I know about love and believe about love and giving ones heart began in this.

In short, to love is to risk and we will feel pain when we love . . . but the alternate of not letting go and feeling free to love is a worse place to be.

In the end, above all else, feel free to love and love without question.

Only then, will we experience true love . . . swing for the fences kiddos, we’ve got a lot of life left ahead of us!

I decided to make this graphic to share with a friend, then I decided to share it with all of you.

(just click on the image below to enlarge and feel free to save this, it’s my gift to all of you)